Stop the Empire-Waisted Madness!

I feel like I've spent the better part of my life trying to escape the empire-waisted dress or tunic.  There are only 3 good reasons to rock that silhouette: 1) You are a female under the age of six  2) You were born in the 19th Century 3) You are currently pregnant or just gave birth.

That's it.

If you don't fit into one of those categories, please, for the love of God, do not buy into the idea that empire waists are a cute way to accentuate your bosoms whilst camouflaging your tummy or child-bearing hips.  The fashion industry designs for women who are unnaturally shaped like hangers - clothes just hang on them so perfectly.  Not so for the real woman!

Back in the early 1800's, the bodice was designed with very little fabric - just enough to cover the nipples, really.  More coverage was then added with a lace collar, an blouse worn under the dress, or a shawl.  The skirt was extra full, cinched just under the breasts,  usually gathered down the back center seam to hang straight down without skimming any curves.  The effect was such that a lady would be "floating" - aside from her bosoms, there would be no hint of her figure.  It's all very romantic and ethereal.


Current styles have waaaay too much fabric in the bodice and the waistline is usually a few inches above the natural waist, too far below the breasts.  If you're pregnant, it's great!  You have extra belly room and it's fairly obvious that you're expecting, not fat.


If you're a big girl, the new style essentially frames your belly and makes your breasts look saggy.  Plus, the back has no extra gather and tends to showcase your "back boobs" a lot because the waistline cuts just under them.  Fashionistas like to say this is a great silhouette for the larger lady - but this is only true if you only carry your weight around your hips and butt.  Even then, it's not the most flattering bustline.  It doesn't "disguise" anything!  You just end up looking fat AND pregnant!  

This is not cute!  You look like you're wearing a tent!  And capris underneath??  What is that about??  Also, on the subject of sleeves ~ They must either be above the elbow by an inch, 3/4, or long (1/2 inch below the wrist).  (btw - that's not me in the photo - I would never be caught in that!)


I think most girls know that there's a line between disguising problem areas and swimming in fabric.  Unfortunately, a lot of us forget that part of the disguise must include accentuating our good points.  If you're like me, an egg shape, you have a great rack and a tight butt with muscular legs - but the midsection is horrifying.  When I get dolled up, I choose fabrics that don't cling, a lower-cut top with a necklace or some kind of fancy-ness on the neckline, and bootcut pants with stretch.  My favorite is a slub-knit a-line tunic tank with sequins stitched around the collar, ponte knit bootcut pants, and a jersey cardigan.  And you can never underestimate the power of a great bra!  With some chunky heeled boots, I look fantastic!  My tits are the star of the ensemble, and the bootcut pants show how strong my legs are.  Yes, I'm still fat, but the eye is less-likely to gravitate to my tummy  ~ that's important.


My point here is that us girls shouldn't listen to what designers or magazines say is attractive - it's really about finding a silhouette that works for your body.