This (little) Victory is MINE!

I finally got on the scale.  First, dear readers, you should know that I believe the bathroom scale to be a torture device.  You get on it, you see a number that's not what you want it to be nor were you expecting and immediately begin the spiral of shame and self-loathing (in most cases).  Sometimes you make bargains or deny it - "Well, I did have a lot of salt this week," "I put on some muscle!" or "I haven't had a good poop today." But you know that even if you were Lot's wife or took a dump that put all dumps ever in the world to shame that the number is only off by maybe 2lbs.  So, you hate yourself and begin plotting ways to destroy that innocuous little scale.


Weight is not the sole indicator of health.  We don't say that well-muscled young men are unhealthy when the scale shows their 5'8" frame pushing the needle over 190.  It's just one single aspect of several components that determine the measure of one's health.  You could be within the accepted weight range for your height and still have a lot of intra-abdominal fat like a goose being fattened up for Christmas.  You could be thin as a rail and still be unable to bob and weave through heavy crowds like I can (it's a thing of a beauty) and have high blood sugar, high triglycerides, and high blood pressure.


I go for how I look in my clothes and how I feel when I walk my dog.  As Kevin Smith said, "every fat person has a limit to how fat they get." And when it comes to losing weight, I feel that there's a certain number that your body is "comfortable" at which is unique to only ourselves.


I am not aiming to lose weight.  I am aiming for health.  Weight-loss is a bonus, but getting off a prescription or two is my goal.  I have never needed to inject insulin, nor do I ever want to. I have little tiny ankles and would like to keep them that way.  I'd be lying if I said I never wanted a rascal scooter at Disneyworld at the end of a long, hot & humid day on the way back to the buses, but I never want to be so unhealthy that I NEED a scooter. I want to avoid all the emotional eating I've done my whole life.


Which brings me to my point:  this is all about the little victories.  Sure, I got on the scale and saw that I've lost 41lbs in 3 weeks, but that's not my victory.  My victory actually happened the other day when we went to do errands for my mother-in-law, who is batshit crazy.  That's the clinical term, I believe.


My MIL was a very nice person up until she realized that my husband and I were serious about each other.  She was already a little nuts, but when she figured out that there really wasn't a chance he was ever going to put her on a pedestal, she went full-on batshit.  I know I'm not the only one who has somewhat strained relations with their in-laws, so please bear with me.


After 8 years of keeping my mouth politely shut, I simply couldn't take any more of her manipulative, two-faced, lying behavior coming out of that stupid bobble-head of hers.  For someone who mentions Jesus all the time, her behavior is decidedly less than Jesus-like.  It's just not okay to say horrible untrue things to my husband, spread horrible untrue gossip about me and my family, and then try to give me "gifts" as if my affection can be bought.


So my victory was actually giving her a piece of my mind and then opting for a chicken salad even though I was so angry I couldn't see straight.  A month ago, I probably would've gotten some Chick-fil-a nuggets and a banana pudding milkshake.  Victory is mine!