Whether you have a healthy relationship with food or not, there is one time of year that we Americans rejoice in together: GIRL SCOUT COOKIE TIME! Fat or thin, active or couch-potato, foodie or raw fanatic - the majority of us still feel a little surge of happiness when that ordering sheet comes around at work. Maybe you don't give in to the temptation, maybe you buy just one box (it IS a fundraiser after all, you say to yourself), maybe you hope your spouse ordered a couple just in case.
I was not a Girl Scout, just not my thing, but I remember Mom ordering a whole bunch of cookies every year when I was little. Dad was a Thin Mint guy and Mom dug the Do-Si-Dos (so what if they gave you heartburn and enough gas to cause you to go airborn?) Like most folks, Dad kept his Thin Mints in the freezer and ate one sleeve at a time. I didn't discover the joys of Samoas until college when a friend of mine would have a nigh-rapturous experience eating one cookie each day (so they would last, he explained).
However, for the last ten or so years, they just haven't been as good. Every year, I'm disappointed and make a mental note to avoid them the following year. First of all, I recall the sleeves being bigger, which wouldn't be a big deal if the cookies were as tasty as they used to be. I don't know if they switched bakeries (I know there's 2 different bakeries now - hence the different names given to the same cookies, i.e. Samoas vs Caramel deLites) but I do think they make a lower quality product now. Thin Mints have a waxy taste, Trefoils taste like shortening instead of butter, the cookie part of the Do-Si-Dos has a cardboard consistency. Did the Girl Scouts fall victim to corporate cost-controlling measures in mass production? In food manufacturing, they call it quality control - machines measure, pour, and mix to "ensure product consistency" - but what if that product is consistently bad?
We're all aware that cookies are not the best choice for our hearts or waistline. An apple or some grapes would be a much more healthful choice, but a few cookies every now and then will not dig the proverbial early grave. Three of their most popular choices, Tagalongs, Samoas, and Thin Mints all tout the "0g Trans Fats" moniker, but because the FDA guidelines allow for some gray area, a serving size must contain LESS THAN ONE gram of trans fats. Partially hydrogenated oils are what changes the viscosity of our blood - sludging it up so it's harder to pump through your veins and tends to glob up & get stuck - hello heart attack. A serving size of Samoas is 2 cookies, so if you eat 4 of those tasty little morsels, you've consumed nearly 4g trans fats. (Check out this blurb from the Chicago Tribune) Moderation is key when indulging, but who eats just 2 Girl Scout Cookies?
Maybe you can eat a couple of Chips Ahoy, but you know that they'll still be at the store next time you go. Not so with Girl Scout cookies - the sheer limited availability practically forces you to gobble them up right away! Maybe that's part of the strategy - the "McRib Mentality" I like to call it. When something's only available for a limited time, the advertising companies have trained us to buy a product "before it runs out!" The McRib (deconstructed here - I caution you to view this only if you're not a fan) is a shaped meat product designed to resemble the real thing, and through some marketing wizardy, McDonald's ensures sales. Girl Scout Cookies are designed to resemble cookies that might come out of a regular store front bakery, but taste worse than off-brand boxed cookies you get at the supermarket.
So I guess what I'm saying is, next year just donate directly to the Girl Scouts and buy yourself a nice cookie from a neighborhood shop, like Bennison's Bakery. If you're gonna indulge on special cookies, at least make it worth the money!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Confessions of an Emotional Eater or Waking the Sleeping Dragon
Notice how I say Emotional Eater? Not Stress Eater or Nervous Eater or Depressive Eater - just simply Emotional. Why? Because Stress, Nerves, Depression are all indicative of a mental state, thus emotive. Most of us have some sort of emotional connection to food - your grandmother's chicken soup or your Dad's potato salad. Food reminds us of where we've come from. Our earliest experience with parental bonding is when we nurse as minutes-old babies. In fact, oxytocin, coined the "love hormone," floods mothers' brains when they begin breast-feeding, strengthening the feelings of love and trust with their baby. This is remarkable, really. It helps ensure the infant's survival - nursing becomes a sort of positive feedback loop during which the mother essentially craves more of that chemical. Well-fed babies survive best.
My husband was watching Top Chef on Bravo recently, and noted that Lorraine Bracco and the rest of the guest judges kept going back to how the food made them feel. Really, think about a time when you were excited about food - and I don't mean getting to try out that new restaurant you've heard great things about. I mean a time when it was something as simple as a grilled cheese sandwich or a burger. Now, try to remember why you were excited. Had it been a long day at work? Was it your birthday? Did your spouse offer out of the blue to pick something up on the way home? I'm sure you can remember if you really think about it.
But as an Emotional Eater, all food ties into emotion somehow. I've been cursed and blessed with an extremely long and detailed memory. When I was almost 3, I remember feeling super-special because my Dad got the vending machine guys to toss me an Orange Crush while we waited for my Mom to get her ultrasound done on my overdue baby brother. The following year, I somersaulted off the bed and sprained my neck; my Mom held her hands around my neck like a C-spine collar until Grampa arrived to take us to the hospital; I ate Cheerios while we waited. At age 7, Gramma and Grampa brought over Mama Luna's pizza and told us they were taking us to Disneyworld while we ate. And so on...
It doesn't matter if I'm anxious, sad, happy, or bored, or whatever's in-between - I find something to eat if it's a strong emotion. The only thing that changes is what I want to eat based on the emotion. And this is where the addiction rears its ugly head - I need to eat something that fills the hole, so to speak. Something that takes the edge off the feeling. To put emotions on a scale of 1 to 10, and happiness is at level 5 when a new episode of my favorite show is on, I'm okay. But when my favorite band closes a show with my favorite song, that's a level 10, and a cheeseburger will get me back down to a level 5. The stress of monthly bills is a comfortable level 6, but the costs of moving are a level 10, a big ol' sandwich scales that back to a level 5.
At some point during childhood, I learned that food soothes the beast. I've been told that I always wanted to be held, like a little monkey, which became quite a challenge after my brother was born. My puppy's like that - so when I'm busy with other things, I put some peanut butter in a toy and he's occupied on his own. I'm pretty sure that's what everyone did with me - it was either feed me or have a nervous breakdown.
My brother was a handful; he nearly required constant supervision. Though I'm not a advocate of drugging youngsters, he was definitely the poster child for ritalin. Dad was a great guy, but a little emotionally ill-equipped as a father - he wanted us to be seen and not heard - and he'd get much louder than we ever could. So between those two males, Mom had her hands full. I, on the other hand, could stifle my feelings with food and just sit calmly reading a book or watching tv if I wasn't out playing.
Of course, stuffing my feelings down has led to TWO unintended side effects. One is obvious, weight gain. The other that food doesn't make the emotions go away, it just soothes the beast, as I said before. It means that feelings tend to come out too strongly for the situation and at really inappropriate times. For example, I was on the E.T. Ride at Universal Studios and started BAWLING when E.T. said "Annnnaa friiiieeeennnd" at the end. I'm not allowed to watch any ASPCA commercials or talk to my husband about the big bang. Again, I have to stifle myself.
So I exercise. The physical exhaustion helps take the emotional edge off, but I wouldn't be honest if I didn't admit to eating more than my fair share of Nutter Butter cookies the other day when I was trying to figure out how to make a career change. I know all the weight-loss tricks, I understand nutrition, I realize how my genetics affect me, I get portion-control - but, like a lot of overweight folks, I still can't quite grasp how to break the link between my emotions and food. That's the battle.
My husband was watching Top Chef on Bravo recently, and noted that Lorraine Bracco and the rest of the guest judges kept going back to how the food made them feel. Really, think about a time when you were excited about food - and I don't mean getting to try out that new restaurant you've heard great things about. I mean a time when it was something as simple as a grilled cheese sandwich or a burger. Now, try to remember why you were excited. Had it been a long day at work? Was it your birthday? Did your spouse offer out of the blue to pick something up on the way home? I'm sure you can remember if you really think about it.
But as an Emotional Eater, all food ties into emotion somehow. I've been cursed and blessed with an extremely long and detailed memory. When I was almost 3, I remember feeling super-special because my Dad got the vending machine guys to toss me an Orange Crush while we waited for my Mom to get her ultrasound done on my overdue baby brother. The following year, I somersaulted off the bed and sprained my neck; my Mom held her hands around my neck like a C-spine collar until Grampa arrived to take us to the hospital; I ate Cheerios while we waited. At age 7, Gramma and Grampa brought over Mama Luna's pizza and told us they were taking us to Disneyworld while we ate. And so on...
It doesn't matter if I'm anxious, sad, happy, or bored, or whatever's in-between - I find something to eat if it's a strong emotion. The only thing that changes is what I want to eat based on the emotion. And this is where the addiction rears its ugly head - I need to eat something that fills the hole, so to speak. Something that takes the edge off the feeling. To put emotions on a scale of 1 to 10, and happiness is at level 5 when a new episode of my favorite show is on, I'm okay. But when my favorite band closes a show with my favorite song, that's a level 10, and a cheeseburger will get me back down to a level 5. The stress of monthly bills is a comfortable level 6, but the costs of moving are a level 10, a big ol' sandwich scales that back to a level 5.
At some point during childhood, I learned that food soothes the beast. I've been told that I always wanted to be held, like a little monkey, which became quite a challenge after my brother was born. My puppy's like that - so when I'm busy with other things, I put some peanut butter in a toy and he's occupied on his own. I'm pretty sure that's what everyone did with me - it was either feed me or have a nervous breakdown.
My brother was a handful; he nearly required constant supervision. Though I'm not a advocate of drugging youngsters, he was definitely the poster child for ritalin. Dad was a great guy, but a little emotionally ill-equipped as a father - he wanted us to be seen and not heard - and he'd get much louder than we ever could. So between those two males, Mom had her hands full. I, on the other hand, could stifle my feelings with food and just sit calmly reading a book or watching tv if I wasn't out playing.
Of course, stuffing my feelings down has led to TWO unintended side effects. One is obvious, weight gain. The other that food doesn't make the emotions go away, it just soothes the beast, as I said before. It means that feelings tend to come out too strongly for the situation and at really inappropriate times. For example, I was on the E.T. Ride at Universal Studios and started BAWLING when E.T. said "Annnnaa friiiieeeennnd" at the end. I'm not allowed to watch any ASPCA commercials or talk to my husband about the big bang. Again, I have to stifle myself.
So I exercise. The physical exhaustion helps take the emotional edge off, but I wouldn't be honest if I didn't admit to eating more than my fair share of Nutter Butter cookies the other day when I was trying to figure out how to make a career change. I know all the weight-loss tricks, I understand nutrition, I realize how my genetics affect me, I get portion-control - but, like a lot of overweight folks, I still can't quite grasp how to break the link between my emotions and food. That's the battle.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Suck it, Rachel Ray!
This recipe is inspired by Awkward Mom (seriously, read her blog!) and her trials and tribulations preparing a nice meal for her family.
Oven-Fried Chicken with Warm Dijon, Sauteed Asparagus and Smashed Chive Potatoes
Chicken
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (Save time with Perdue Fit & Easy or Market Day Chick'n Steaks - just be sure to cut off any extra "bits" like connective tissue...eww)
1 egg, beaten
1 tbs water
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tbs cajun seasoning (mix of garlic powder, onion powder, salt, pepper, cayenne, dried mustard - I use Emeril's)
3 cups Panko (Japanese style) breadcrumbs
1. Crank the oven to 400, line a cookie sheet with aluminium foil
2. Remove chicken from package, rinse with water, and pat dry
3. Scramble egg with water in a bowl large enough to dip the chicken
4.Pour the 1 1/2 cups Panko on a paper plate or wax paper
5. Dip chicken in egg wash, let excess drip off, and place on Panko. Repeat with all chicken.
6. Sprinkle each breast with cajun season and garlic powder
7. Pour remaining Panko on top of breasts, then smoosh well to ensure breadcrumbs stick to egg wash
8. Place on foil-covered sheet and bake for approximately 20 - 25 minutes (depending on thickness). Test temp with instead read thermometer just to be sure.
*Note: the Panko will not brown very much - UNLESS you drizzle a little melted butter or olive oil on top. This is more of a personal thing
Smashed Potatoes
(Before prepping chicken, get a pot of water going on the stove)
Approximately 1/2 - 1 lbs of small red boiler potatoes (depending on how many taters your family likes to eat), unpeeled and roughly an inch in diameter - though you should cut bigger ones in half to ensure even cooking
salt
pepper
1/4 cup cream cheese (lite or regular)
2 tsp freshly chopped chives (I s'pose you could use dried chives, but why?)
1. In theory, the water should be boiling by the time you get the chicken in the oven. Drop those unpeeled red taters in the water. Don't forget to salt the water!
2. Boil vigorously for about 15 minutes; they should be fork tender
3. Drain and return to pot
4. Drop in cream cheese and start mashing; the cheese should melt and make everything nice and creamy
5. Add salt and pepper to taste, sprinkle chives and stir
Sauteed Asparagus
1 bunch (approx 1 lb) asparagus
1 tbs olive oil (eyeball it)
1 tsp Montreal Steak Seasoning
1. Trim woody ends off asparagus and chop remainder into 1" long pieces
2. Place asparagus in quart freezer bag, pour olive oil and seasoning on top. Seal bag and squish around so everything is coated
3. Get a pan going over medium heat and saute those asparagus buggers
4. Asparagus will turn bright green when done and the tips should have a slight char on them; they should still have a bite but not be raw or conversely, all flaccid. Nobody likes flaccid.
Warm Dijon Sauce
1 cup plain yogurt (Greek-style if you want your sauce thicker)
2 tsp dijon mustard
1/2 tsp Cajun seasoning
1. In microwave-safe container, warm ingredients - about 2 1/2 minutes at 50% power. Stir often to ensure uniform warming. You could do this in a saucepan, but it's a little harder to control the heat.
Hopefully, everything has finished cooking at the same time, but that depends on several factors (thickness of chicken, children needing attention, etc). If your spouse hasn't arrived or you need to watch your child re-enact Rapunzel letting down her hair, just turn the asparagus burner off. You can re-warm when you're ready to eat. Also, the chicken can stay in the oven, provided you turn off the oven and cover them with foil. Taters can also be re-warmed in the pot on low heat.
However, if you need to put everything in the fridge because someone's really late for dinner, make a little plate, excluding the sauce, and cover it loosely with foil - too tight and the chicken will get soggy. When it's time to zap in the microwave, cover the plate with a loose paper towel and warm for about 2-3 minutes at 80% power. Then do the sauce the same as you did before.
Now why did I use yogurt instead of mayo or making my own cream sauce? A couple reasons - yogurt has a tangy quality that goes nicely with the spicy chicken and it mellows out the strength of the dijon. Also, yogurt is a more healthful choice than mayo or bechamel. I've learned that eating healthfully does not mean a sauceless life - you just have to edit or replace ingredients to make what you love better for you. My husband, who was raised on fast food, loves my chicken dishes - and I haven't fried a piece of chicken for years!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
The Burden of Breasts
Wouldn't you like to be the same weight you were in high school? I think most of us would. Your boobs were perky, clothes hung right on your hips and guys had all this sudden muscle from the increased testosterone. Except my ta-tas weren't all that perky (though they certainly didn't need as much help as they do now!) and I was considered fat in comparison to the other girls my age. Now, I'd kill to be that size hehehe.
My "girls" became "ladies" at the ripe old age of 12, when I recall wearing a 38C bra. I wore a training bra when I was 7, and still flashback in horror to the day in 4th grade when my DAD asked if I was wearing my bra before a softball game. As a big kid, not only did I have to contend with nasty comments about being a "big fat banana" or being asked to do the "Truffle Shuffle" (I kicked that kid's ass, btw), I also had to deal with early-onset puberty. Thanks to my flab, my body started producing sex hormones waaaay earlier than most girls.
As a result, the rest of my life became a double-edged sword when it came to the opposite sex. Teenage boys and their raging hormones wanted to touch boobies, preferably big ones, yet they didn't want to deal with any of the other curves that came with them. Very few girls were thin and busty back then. So the guy who told me I was too fat to date would be the same guy who tried to grope me at a party. Nice :-/
Bra shopping has long been a nightmare. Those cute, coquettish bras advertised in Victoria's Secret only go up to a 38DD - after that, it's your basic full-coverage underwire. If you're lucky, you can get a color besides beige, black or white. Aside from that, those adorable undergarments are really only meant for "business time" unless you're a forever-perky A or B cup. Finding a good bra that lifts, separates, and DOES NOT make you look like a 1950's pointy pin-up is tough, so when I find a style that works, I wear that bra until it falls off... literally.
My senior year of high school, my girls' PE class had to take swimming. If you had to endure that special horror, you remember that there was NEVER enough time between getting out the pool, showering, and re-dressing for your next class. It was a new kind of torture, having my next class as far away from the pool as possible, with only 5 minutes in between bells. So, you've already had your Rubenesque body on display in front of people you'd never let see you naked (though, luckily, 3 of my best friends were in that class and the awkwardness wasn't as bad) and now you're mostly dry. It's those pesky damp spots that make re-dressing quickly so damn difficult - you basically become a contortionist to get your bra on. So one day, I'm twisting and turning and hurrying and sweating more, and I finally get one bra strap up. Then in the middle of the other strap being pulled over my shoulder, it snaps in twain. Oh, fuck me! Since I'm not a little girl, there's no way I can allow my boobs to hang in the breeze all day long. What do I do?? With some quick thinking, I finish dressing, hold my backpack in front of me, and get down to the dean's office. Mr. Wayne, my dean, and I were friendly in that smartass kid - smartass teacher kind of way... maybe I could charm him into letting me go home?
"Don't you have a class now, Anna?" Mr. Wayne asks, raising his eyebrow.
"Yeah, but could I chat with you a minute?" I ask, my face a shade of red only found on poisonous arrow frogs in the Amazonian jungle. He looks suspicious, but waves me into his office. I keep holding my backpack in front of me as I sit down. "Soooo.... funny thing happened," I begin.
After I finish telling him that I'm pretty much in a mammary free-fall, he turns red. The feeling in his office was a bizarre mix of awkwardness, embarrassment, bemusement, and bewilderment. "And what can I do for you?" he asks, voice going up a pitch as he stifles a laugh.
"Just give me a damn pass to go off-campus so I can go home and change!" I plead.
"I'm really sorry for your unfortunate... erm... incident, Anna, but I can't just let you blow off a class."
"It's a good reason, Wayne!"
"Well..." he hems.
"Oh, c'mon, if a kid shit his pants, you'd let him go home to change, right?" I interrupt, looking him dead in the eye.
"If a kid shit his pants, I'd tell him to stay at home!" he laughs. "I'm sorry, I can't let you go. When's your lunch?"
So I had to drive home during lunch, hoist the girls into another boulder-holder and return to school. Not my most shining moment, but I bet Mr. Wayne had a good laugh about it in the teacher's lounge...
My "girls" became "ladies" at the ripe old age of 12, when I recall wearing a 38C bra. I wore a training bra when I was 7, and still flashback in horror to the day in 4th grade when my DAD asked if I was wearing my bra before a softball game. As a big kid, not only did I have to contend with nasty comments about being a "big fat banana" or being asked to do the "Truffle Shuffle" (I kicked that kid's ass, btw), I also had to deal with early-onset puberty. Thanks to my flab, my body started producing sex hormones waaaay earlier than most girls.
As a result, the rest of my life became a double-edged sword when it came to the opposite sex. Teenage boys and their raging hormones wanted to touch boobies, preferably big ones, yet they didn't want to deal with any of the other curves that came with them. Very few girls were thin and busty back then. So the guy who told me I was too fat to date would be the same guy who tried to grope me at a party. Nice :-/
Bra shopping has long been a nightmare. Those cute, coquettish bras advertised in Victoria's Secret only go up to a 38DD - after that, it's your basic full-coverage underwire. If you're lucky, you can get a color besides beige, black or white. Aside from that, those adorable undergarments are really only meant for "business time" unless you're a forever-perky A or B cup. Finding a good bra that lifts, separates, and DOES NOT make you look like a 1950's pointy pin-up is tough, so when I find a style that works, I wear that bra until it falls off... literally.
My senior year of high school, my girls' PE class had to take swimming. If you had to endure that special horror, you remember that there was NEVER enough time between getting out the pool, showering, and re-dressing for your next class. It was a new kind of torture, having my next class as far away from the pool as possible, with only 5 minutes in between bells. So, you've already had your Rubenesque body on display in front of people you'd never let see you naked (though, luckily, 3 of my best friends were in that class and the awkwardness wasn't as bad) and now you're mostly dry. It's those pesky damp spots that make re-dressing quickly so damn difficult - you basically become a contortionist to get your bra on. So one day, I'm twisting and turning and hurrying and sweating more, and I finally get one bra strap up. Then in the middle of the other strap being pulled over my shoulder, it snaps in twain. Oh, fuck me! Since I'm not a little girl, there's no way I can allow my boobs to hang in the breeze all day long. What do I do?? With some quick thinking, I finish dressing, hold my backpack in front of me, and get down to the dean's office. Mr. Wayne, my dean, and I were friendly in that smartass kid - smartass teacher kind of way... maybe I could charm him into letting me go home?
"Don't you have a class now, Anna?" Mr. Wayne asks, raising his eyebrow.
"Yeah, but could I chat with you a minute?" I ask, my face a shade of red only found on poisonous arrow frogs in the Amazonian jungle. He looks suspicious, but waves me into his office. I keep holding my backpack in front of me as I sit down. "Soooo.... funny thing happened," I begin.
After I finish telling him that I'm pretty much in a mammary free-fall, he turns red. The feeling in his office was a bizarre mix of awkwardness, embarrassment, bemusement, and bewilderment. "And what can I do for you?" he asks, voice going up a pitch as he stifles a laugh.
"Just give me a damn pass to go off-campus so I can go home and change!" I plead.
"I'm really sorry for your unfortunate... erm... incident, Anna, but I can't just let you blow off a class."
"It's a good reason, Wayne!"
"Well..." he hems.
"Oh, c'mon, if a kid shit his pants, you'd let him go home to change, right?" I interrupt, looking him dead in the eye.
"If a kid shit his pants, I'd tell him to stay at home!" he laughs. "I'm sorry, I can't let you go. When's your lunch?"
So I had to drive home during lunch, hoist the girls into another boulder-holder and return to school. Not my most shining moment, but I bet Mr. Wayne had a good laugh about it in the teacher's lounge...
Pizza Party!!!
Remember how excited every kid was when you had a pizza birthday party? Hell, if you work in corporate America, it's still pretty likely that you have pizza parties (since that's pretty much the only perk left... cheap bastards).
I can't think of one person I know who doesn't like pizza, if not love it. My husband is a frozen pizza aficionado, although I use that term loosely since $1 G&W pizzas made on some matzah-like cracker are his favorite (the link takes you to a male grad students' blog - this should explain the G & W demographic). Ew. Anyway, I got heavier on pizza shipped from Lou's or Edwardo's when we lived in SC. Nearly every Saturday growing up, we had pizza from wherever Dad liked (oh, those unfortunate Little Caesar's years...). And recently, we discovered Salerno's, which actually seems to make the perfect crunchy thin crust.
However, frozen or delivery, stuffed or thin, pizza is not the most healthful choice. But it could be! Just make your own! Sure, Domino's is cheap, but you can spend about the same amount with your own high-quality ingredients.
For a long time, I thought pizza dough was difficult to make - it turns out I was just afraid of making anything with yeast. (What if it doesn't bubble? What if it doesn't rise? aaaarghhhh!)
Basic Pizza Dough Recipe
*makes 3 10" thin crust pizzas
1 tsp active yeast
1 cup plus 3 tbs water between 105 - 115 degrees
3 1/2 to 4 cups AP flour
2 tsp salt
Again, I use my food processor with a dough blade, but you can knead it by hand as well - just as long as it looks shiny in the end.
1. Using an instant thermometer, bring 1 cup of water to temperature. I do this in the microwave so it usually gets hotter than I need it to be, so I cool it down to 110 degrees with the other 3 tbs of water. If you can hit the perfect temp without adding cooler water or started all over, then Godblessya!
2. In the food processor, dump flour, yeast, and salt. Start mixing and drizzle water through the feeder tube. Once it's all combined, let it go for 60 seconds past the point when the dough pulls away from the walls into a ball.
3. This is a very very sticky dough so you have 2 choices for the rise. 1) you can liberally flour a quart-size freezer bag and seal it with enough room for it to double OR 2) brush olive oil on the walls of a tall bowl, drop the dough in, and turn it so it all gets coated, then cover it with plastic wrap. Either way, it needs to rise at room temperature for 2 hours. Did I mention how sticky the dough is?
4. After it's risen, you can use it right away or you can put it in the fridge for up to 36 hours (just let it come to room temp before you use it; takes about an hour).
Assembling your pizza
First, get that oven going! About 30 minutes before you start making your pizzas, get your pizza pan or stone (I have a cast iron pizza pan which makes the crust really crisp) in a cold oven and preheat to 380 degrees. You could go to 400 if you're using pre-shredded mozzarella but I find a significant smoking "Is-that-the-fire-alarm?" problem.
Place dough onto floured surface and divide into 3 (or 6 if you're making individual pizzas) sections. Return all but 1 section to bowl.
There are several different ways to stretch your crust. If you roll it out, flour the rolling pin and the dough well. If you use your fingers to push it out into a circle-esque shape, make sure you flour your hands. I prefer a beginner's attempt at tossing. For this technique, flour your hands and pick the dough up by the edge. Make fists, hold your hands closely together, pinch the dough between your thumb and the base of your index finger, letting the dough hang down over your knuckles. This prevents tearing the dough. As you inch it through your thumbs/fingers, the dough's weight will stretch it to a proper crust size. Remember, it's STICKY!
Remove the hot pan from the oven and sprinkle about 1 tbs of cornmeal on it. The cornmeal keeps the pizza from sticking to the pan. Don't forget, the pan has been heated to at least 380 degrees - don't let it burn you or some one or thing in your kitchen!
Place your stretched dough on the cornmeal.
Using a pastry or basting brush, apply a very thin coat of olive oil to create a sort of moisture barrier. Now's the time to sprinkle herbs, if that's your thang, and a little extra sea salt (important when using fresh mozzarella).
Dock (poke with a fork) the dough to give the steam an escape valve, unless you want a bubbly crust.
Bake for about 10 minutes on a rack in the middle of the oven.
Remove from oven, brush a thin coat of pizza or marinara sauce (too thick and it will get soggy) on top, sprinkle on 1/2 or 2/3 cup shredded fresh mozzarella, and any other toppings, like pepperoni, then turn the broiler on High.
Place the pizza about 4 inches below the broiler and bake for another 4-5 minutes. Watch it pretty closely because cheese can go from melty and semi-browned on the edges to unsalvageable in the blink of an eye. No, it doesn't look as pretty as restaurant pizza, but it's supa-tasty! Pepperoni pleases the husband.
Notes on toppings
When it comes to homemade pizza, less is more. More toppings = pizza soup. Yuck. If you use veggies, saute them a little on the stove to pull out some of their moisture because 5 minutes under the broiler will do only that - it won't actually cook them to an edible doneness. Sausage is obviously great, but make sure to cook it through before putting it on the pizza.
How to make pizza fun & healthful
I've already talked about toppings (less is more), but let's talk about cheese. I behold the power of cheese. I can go days without chocolate or bread, but a day without cheese is downright depressing. That being said, cheese is also a big source of unnecessary saturated fat and sodium. If possible, go with fresh mozzarella ~ it has a milder flavor, a better creaminess though not as stringy as regular mozzarella, and is more healthful.
Do something funky with your pizza - try flavor combos you normally wouldn't. Make a white pizza with alfredo, chicken, and broccoli or a pizza margherita with sliced tomatoes (instead of sauce), fresh basil leaves, and cheese. Make a nacho pizza with ground turkey taco meat, chihuahua cheese and pico de gallo. How about a BLT pizza with no sauce, mozzarella, bacon & tomatoes (add lettuce when it comes out of the oven)?
Feel like having a less-douchey dinner party? Pre-bake a bunch of individual pizza crusts and have your guests make their own.
Need an activity for kids on a rainy or cold day? Get the dough ready and have everyone get involved with stretching the crust and putting on the toppings.
Save room for dessert! Omit the olive oil and add about a cup of sugar to the dough, maybe some cinnamon or nutmeg and bake the crust. Break up a Hershey bar and let it melt on the crust when it comes out of the oven, spread it out with a spatula, and place sliced strawberries and whipped cream for a less messy way to eat chocolate dipped strawberries. Or make a fruit pizza - bake the crust, brush orange juice or orange liqueur on top, spread some sweetened marscapone over it, then add sliced bananas, strawberries, mangoes, whatever!
Okay, this may sound pretty gross, but I swear it's freaking delicious. Bake the crust, let it cool to room temperature. Spread 3/4 cup cream cheese, spread 3 tbs cocktail sauce on top, and then arrange cooked sliced shrimp on top of that. You can use baby shrimp from the tuna aisle at the store, but those are pretty slimy. You can get 1 lb of frozen uncooked, deveined, tail-off shrimp for about $10 at Market Day, thaw them, bring a pot of water to boil and dump the shrimp into the water. Immediately turn off the burner, let sit for 3-4 minutes until the shrimp turn pink and opaque, remove to paper towel, dry, slice lengthwise. It's a great appetizer or snack. You're just going to have to trust me on that ;-)
I can't think of one person I know who doesn't like pizza, if not love it. My husband is a frozen pizza aficionado, although I use that term loosely since $1 G&W pizzas made on some matzah-like cracker are his favorite (the link takes you to a male grad students' blog - this should explain the G & W demographic). Ew. Anyway, I got heavier on pizza shipped from Lou's or Edwardo's when we lived in SC. Nearly every Saturday growing up, we had pizza from wherever Dad liked (oh, those unfortunate Little Caesar's years...). And recently, we discovered Salerno's, which actually seems to make the perfect crunchy thin crust.
However, frozen or delivery, stuffed or thin, pizza is not the most healthful choice. But it could be! Just make your own! Sure, Domino's is cheap, but you can spend about the same amount with your own high-quality ingredients.
For a long time, I thought pizza dough was difficult to make - it turns out I was just afraid of making anything with yeast. (What if it doesn't bubble? What if it doesn't rise? aaaarghhhh!)
Basic Pizza Dough Recipe
*makes 3 10" thin crust pizzas
1 tsp active yeast
1 cup plus 3 tbs water between 105 - 115 degrees
3 1/2 to 4 cups AP flour
2 tsp salt
Again, I use my food processor with a dough blade, but you can knead it by hand as well - just as long as it looks shiny in the end.
1. Using an instant thermometer, bring 1 cup of water to temperature. I do this in the microwave so it usually gets hotter than I need it to be, so I cool it down to 110 degrees with the other 3 tbs of water. If you can hit the perfect temp without adding cooler water or started all over, then Godblessya!
2. In the food processor, dump flour, yeast, and salt. Start mixing and drizzle water through the feeder tube. Once it's all combined, let it go for 60 seconds past the point when the dough pulls away from the walls into a ball.
3. This is a very very sticky dough so you have 2 choices for the rise. 1) you can liberally flour a quart-size freezer bag and seal it with enough room for it to double OR 2) brush olive oil on the walls of a tall bowl, drop the dough in, and turn it so it all gets coated, then cover it with plastic wrap. Either way, it needs to rise at room temperature for 2 hours. Did I mention how sticky the dough is?
4. After it's risen, you can use it right away or you can put it in the fridge for up to 36 hours (just let it come to room temp before you use it; takes about an hour).
Assembling your pizza
First, get that oven going! About 30 minutes before you start making your pizzas, get your pizza pan or stone (I have a cast iron pizza pan which makes the crust really crisp) in a cold oven and preheat to 380 degrees. You could go to 400 if you're using pre-shredded mozzarella but I find a significant smoking "Is-that-the-fire-alarm?" problem.
Place dough onto floured surface and divide into 3 (or 6 if you're making individual pizzas) sections. Return all but 1 section to bowl.
There are several different ways to stretch your crust. If you roll it out, flour the rolling pin and the dough well. If you use your fingers to push it out into a circle-esque shape, make sure you flour your hands. I prefer a beginner's attempt at tossing. For this technique, flour your hands and pick the dough up by the edge. Make fists, hold your hands closely together, pinch the dough between your thumb and the base of your index finger, letting the dough hang down over your knuckles. This prevents tearing the dough. As you inch it through your thumbs/fingers, the dough's weight will stretch it to a proper crust size. Remember, it's STICKY!
Remove the hot pan from the oven and sprinkle about 1 tbs of cornmeal on it. The cornmeal keeps the pizza from sticking to the pan. Don't forget, the pan has been heated to at least 380 degrees - don't let it burn you or some one or thing in your kitchen!
Place your stretched dough on the cornmeal.
Using a pastry or basting brush, apply a very thin coat of olive oil to create a sort of moisture barrier. Now's the time to sprinkle herbs, if that's your thang, and a little extra sea salt (important when using fresh mozzarella).
Dock (poke with a fork) the dough to give the steam an escape valve, unless you want a bubbly crust.
Bake for about 10 minutes on a rack in the middle of the oven.
Remove from oven, brush a thin coat of pizza or marinara sauce (too thick and it will get soggy) on top, sprinkle on 1/2 or 2/3 cup shredded fresh mozzarella, and any other toppings, like pepperoni, then turn the broiler on High.Place the pizza about 4 inches below the broiler and bake for another 4-5 minutes. Watch it pretty closely because cheese can go from melty and semi-browned on the edges to unsalvageable in the blink of an eye. No, it doesn't look as pretty as restaurant pizza, but it's supa-tasty! Pepperoni pleases the husband.
Notes on toppings
When it comes to homemade pizza, less is more. More toppings = pizza soup. Yuck. If you use veggies, saute them a little on the stove to pull out some of their moisture because 5 minutes under the broiler will do only that - it won't actually cook them to an edible doneness. Sausage is obviously great, but make sure to cook it through before putting it on the pizza.
How to make pizza fun & healthful
I've already talked about toppings (less is more), but let's talk about cheese. I behold the power of cheese. I can go days without chocolate or bread, but a day without cheese is downright depressing. That being said, cheese is also a big source of unnecessary saturated fat and sodium. If possible, go with fresh mozzarella ~ it has a milder flavor, a better creaminess though not as stringy as regular mozzarella, and is more healthful.
Do something funky with your pizza - try flavor combos you normally wouldn't. Make a white pizza with alfredo, chicken, and broccoli or a pizza margherita with sliced tomatoes (instead of sauce), fresh basil leaves, and cheese. Make a nacho pizza with ground turkey taco meat, chihuahua cheese and pico de gallo. How about a BLT pizza with no sauce, mozzarella, bacon & tomatoes (add lettuce when it comes out of the oven)?
Feel like having a less-douchey dinner party? Pre-bake a bunch of individual pizza crusts and have your guests make their own.
Need an activity for kids on a rainy or cold day? Get the dough ready and have everyone get involved with stretching the crust and putting on the toppings.
Save room for dessert! Omit the olive oil and add about a cup of sugar to the dough, maybe some cinnamon or nutmeg and bake the crust. Break up a Hershey bar and let it melt on the crust when it comes out of the oven, spread it out with a spatula, and place sliced strawberries and whipped cream for a less messy way to eat chocolate dipped strawberries. Or make a fruit pizza - bake the crust, brush orange juice or orange liqueur on top, spread some sweetened marscapone over it, then add sliced bananas, strawberries, mangoes, whatever!
Okay, this may sound pretty gross, but I swear it's freaking delicious. Bake the crust, let it cool to room temperature. Spread 3/4 cup cream cheese, spread 3 tbs cocktail sauce on top, and then arrange cooked sliced shrimp on top of that. You can use baby shrimp from the tuna aisle at the store, but those are pretty slimy. You can get 1 lb of frozen uncooked, deveined, tail-off shrimp for about $10 at Market Day, thaw them, bring a pot of water to boil and dump the shrimp into the water. Immediately turn off the burner, let sit for 3-4 minutes until the shrimp turn pink and opaque, remove to paper towel, dry, slice lengthwise. It's a great appetizer or snack. You're just going to have to trust me on that ;-)
Stop the Empire-Waisted Madness!
I feel like I've spent the better part of my life trying to escape the empire-waisted dress or tunic. There are only 3 good reasons to rock that silhouette: 1) You are a female under the age of six 2) You were born in the 19th Century 3) You are currently pregnant or just gave birth.
That's it.
If you don't fit into one of those categories, please, for the love of God, do not buy into the idea that empire waists are a cute way to accentuate your bosoms whilst camouflaging your tummy or child-bearing hips. The fashion industry designs for women who are unnaturally shaped like hangers - clothes just hang on them so perfectly. Not so for the real woman!
Back in the early 1800's, the bodice was designed with very little fabric - just enough to cover the nipples, really. More coverage was then added with a lace collar, an blouse worn under the dress, or a shawl. The skirt was extra full, cinched just under the breasts, usually gathered down the back center seam to hang straight down without skimming any curves. The effect was such that a lady would be "floating" - aside from her bosoms, there would be no hint of her figure. It's all very romantic and ethereal.
Current styles have waaaay too much fabric in the bodice and the waistline is usually a few inches above the natural waist, too far below the breasts. If you're pregnant, it's great! You have extra belly room and it's fairly obvious that you're expecting, not fat.
If you're a big girl, the new style essentially frames your belly and makes your breasts look saggy. Plus, the back has no extra gather and tends to showcase your "back boobs" a lot because the waistline cuts just under them. Fashionistas like to say this is a great silhouette for the larger lady - but this is only true if you only carry your weight around your hips and butt. Even then, it's not the most flattering bustline. It doesn't "disguise" anything! You just end up looking fat AND pregnant!
This is not cute! You look like you're wearing a tent! And capris underneath?? What is that about?? Also, on the subject of sleeves ~ They must either be above the elbow by an inch, 3/4, or long (1/2 inch below the wrist). (btw - that's not me in the photo - I would never be caught in that!)
I think most girls know that there's a line between disguising problem areas and swimming in fabric. Unfortunately, a lot of us forget that part of the disguise must include accentuating our good points. If you're like me, an egg shape, you have a great rack and a tight butt with muscular legs - but the midsection is horrifying. When I get dolled up, I choose fabrics that don't cling, a lower-cut top with a necklace or some kind of fancy-ness on the neckline, and bootcut pants with stretch. My favorite is a slub-knit a-line tunic tank with sequins stitched around the collar, ponte knit bootcut pants, and a jersey cardigan. And you can never underestimate the power of a great bra! With some chunky heeled boots, I look fantastic! My tits are the star of the ensemble, and the bootcut pants show how strong my legs are. Yes, I'm still fat, but the eye is less-likely to gravitate to my tummy ~ that's important.
My point here is that us girls shouldn't listen to what designers or magazines say is attractive - it's really about finding a silhouette that works for your body.
Current styles have waaaay too much fabric in the bodice and the waistline is usually a few inches above the natural waist, too far below the breasts. If you're pregnant, it's great! You have extra belly room and it's fairly obvious that you're expecting, not fat.
If you're a big girl, the new style essentially frames your belly and makes your breasts look saggy. Plus, the back has no extra gather and tends to showcase your "back boobs" a lot because the waistline cuts just under them. Fashionistas like to say this is a great silhouette for the larger lady - but this is only true if you only carry your weight around your hips and butt. Even then, it's not the most flattering bustline. It doesn't "disguise" anything! You just end up looking fat AND pregnant!
I think most girls know that there's a line between disguising problem areas and swimming in fabric. Unfortunately, a lot of us forget that part of the disguise must include accentuating our good points. If you're like me, an egg shape, you have a great rack and a tight butt with muscular legs - but the midsection is horrifying. When I get dolled up, I choose fabrics that don't cling, a lower-cut top with a necklace or some kind of fancy-ness on the neckline, and bootcut pants with stretch. My favorite is a slub-knit a-line tunic tank with sequins stitched around the collar, ponte knit bootcut pants, and a jersey cardigan. And you can never underestimate the power of a great bra! With some chunky heeled boots, I look fantastic! My tits are the star of the ensemble, and the bootcut pants show how strong my legs are. Yes, I'm still fat, but the eye is less-likely to gravitate to my tummy ~ that's important.
My point here is that us girls shouldn't listen to what designers or magazines say is attractive - it's really about finding a silhouette that works for your body.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Dieting for 25 years and still addicted to food
Just in case you're wondering, I've been dieting all my life. I was a chubby kid who evened out slightly after puberty (at age 10!) and continued to chub up into adulthood. There are several different factors that led to my weight gain, but it still comes down to a convergence of genetics and behavior. Finally, when I was 16, my "lady doctor" diagnosed me with PCOS - turns out my hormones tip the scales more than anything else. It means that it's easy for me to gain weight and very difficult, but not impossible, to lose. It also doesn't help that my Mom & Dad had their own weight issues, so when they dieted, so did I.
Just for kicks, let's list the diets I've been on:
Age 7 - The Stoplight Diet for Kids. Basically, foods were given a red, yellow, or green light based on their nutritional value. It turned common sense into a system - Apples are green, cheese is yellow, Snickers are red.
Age 8 - Mom went on the Pritikin Diet, so we did as well.
Age 9 - the "No Junk Food" diet - we weren't allowed any junk food, so I started going to Walgreens with a friend after school, buying candy bars and hiding them under my mattress. Only lasted about a few months, but when my Mom caught me in the act, thereby discovering the reason behind my 10lb weight gain, she realized this was pretty stupid.
Age 10-11 - the "Breadstick Diet" - don't really remember much about this except that we only had breadsticks and Stella Doro's for snacks. Low fat was the concept, so pasta was allowed and boy, we ate a lot of it!
Age 11 - Jenny Craig. That sucked.
Age 12 - my volleyball coach suggested that I go on Slim-Fast before 8th grade started. Losing 30lbs didn't do anything for my volleyball career - I still wasn't a starter.
Age 14-15 - my gym teacher, Coach Van Alstin, was really into aerobics. She actually made me want to exercise. But between theater after school, dinner, homework (and failing Chem), I just couldn't stick to it.
Age 16 - ahh, good ol' Starvation. A cup of tea for breakfast, a Diet Coke and bag of chips for lunch, got home most nights too late for dinner, so I snacked and went to sleep. Eventually, I realized how stupid this was since I'd hardly lost any weight. And I was really fucking cranky.
Age 17-18 - Now I've been diagnosed with PCOS and started to see an endocrinologist. After a few visits, lots of labs and tests, we still couldn't figure out exactly what was going on between my stomach and my brain. Food Addiction was not very well-studied in those days (still isn't, though it's better) so he simply suggested I go on Phen-Fen. After the worse summer of my life, I agreed to take it. It was a miracle! I wasn't hungry, I was feeling pretty good, and started college 45lbs thinner, back to my freshman year of high school weight! I kept taking my walks around DePaul, joined a gym... then I noticed how "off" I was feeling. I was agitated, I couldn't sleep very well, I was more fearful... Was this due to the medicine, a form of speed, or was this just because I was living in the dorms and didn't really know anyone? Not sure, I stopped taking the medicine. A month later, news reports surfaced that people were dying due to lung and heart issues created by Phen-Fen and the drug combo was taken off the market. Did I dodge a bullet, or did the sudden weight gain I experienced afterwards simply alter the trajectory for a later date?
Age 19-20 - counted calories & exercised. Not much of a dent.
Age 22 - Protein Power, a more scientific approach to Atkins with an emphasis on good carbs and lean protein. Very successful - about 80lbs. Course, a girl can't live without bread and chocolate forever! Unfortunately, all the weight came back and more to my BELLY!
Age 24 - Back to counting calories and exercising like a beast. Lost some weight, but reshaping my body was the biggest payoff. I was dating a lot and my brother was in the hospital, so I didn't have a lot of downtime to mindlessly munch.
Age 25 - started dating my husband and didn't focus so much on calories, but kept my work-out regime going.
Age 26 - got engaged and moved to South Carolina. Food was my only familiar in a new place.
Age 27 - moved back to Chicago. My sleep apnea, which I've always had, became severe due to my weight. "Excessive daytime sleepiness" is a symptom, but that's an understatement. It was more like narcolepsy! My husband, who never had a problem with my weight, now had an issue with my health. He was concerned, as was my Mom. I started Weight Watchers online, then meetings a few months later. Did well, lost 50lbs and hit a 2 month plateau. My new meeting leader remarked that I'm like a sumo wrestler - lots of muscle under lots of fat. What a jackass - no girl wants to hear that she's like a sumo wrestler! Quit that shit right away. Kept on exercising and watching points, but the plateau was never-ending.
Age 29 - Started a new job, which alternated between boring and stressful. At least my CPAP machine for the apnea started keeping me awake during the day, but the boredom drove me to eat. Tried low-carb again with less success.
Age 30 - my father suddenly died and we all gained weight. Food was my comfort, my solace, my coping mechanism. My job moved to a new building with a much longer commute. By the time I got home, all I wanted to do was get in my comfy clothes and munch.
Then, just after my 31st birthday, I had a major health wake-up call. There's nothing like hearing that your kidneys are failing to make you re-prioritize! With my husband's blessing, I quit that job that was slowly pushing me towards an early grave. I began focusing more on how I felt rather than how I looked.
The addiction gene runs in my family, and years of dieting not only contributed to making food my drug of choice, it led to my poor health, terrible self-image and inability to cope with life's curveballs. Our bodies are machines - they are made to move and made to work through pain. Exercise, not diet, should be what we focus on - as you move, your body wants better fuel to work. Now, I just focus on how I feel moving - swimming, walking, weights, playing with the dog, waking up feeling good, going to sleep at a decent hour because my muscles are telling me it's time to repair... this is what's important.
Then, just after my 31st birthday, I had a major health wake-up call. There's nothing like hearing that your kidneys are failing to make you re-prioritize! With my husband's blessing, I quit that job that was slowly pushing me towards an early grave. I began focusing more on how I felt rather than how I looked.
The addiction gene runs in my family, and years of dieting not only contributed to making food my drug of choice, it led to my poor health, terrible self-image and inability to cope with life's curveballs. Our bodies are machines - they are made to move and made to work through pain. Exercise, not diet, should be what we focus on - as you move, your body wants better fuel to work. Now, I just focus on how I feel moving - swimming, walking, weights, playing with the dog, waking up feeling good, going to sleep at a decent hour because my muscles are telling me it's time to repair... this is what's important.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Crockpot Doggy Stew (for dogs, not made from them!)
Dogs are expensive, especially when we treat them like family. Maybe one day we'll have kids, but for now, Doc the Basset-y Beagle is our little boy. We also have a niece doggie, Misha, my brother's German Shepherd.
Now, Doc is really food-motivated, like his parents, and Misha can pretty much eat a house. When we adopted Doc, we bought food from the shelter - Fromm's. After all those pet deaths due to food manufactured in China, I'm pretty skittish of the typical major labels, like Purina or Pedigree. I prefer organic or holistic food made on this side of the pond, like Fromm's, which Doc likes and is easy on his tummy. But even with the shelter discount, it's still a nice chunk of change.
In this financial quandary, I thought about how much most pups love to eat "people food." Misha will walk away from her canned steak dinner if my brother's eating an actual steak. She knows the canned stuff is crap. Plus, making an extra trip to Petsmart & lugging it all home is a hassle - especially when you suddenly remember you're out! Why don't I just make some?
Doggy Stew
2lbs lean ground turkey
2 1/2 cups uncooked brown rice OR 2 cups steel-cut oats
1 can peas & carrots
1 can peas
1 can green beans
1/2 cup parmesan (the powdery kind you keep in the fridge, like Kraft)
2 tsps garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1 tbs Italian seasoning (mix of oregano, basil, rosemary, thyme)
Chicken broth, just enough to cover the grains (I used broth I'd frozen into cubes and water)
1. In crock pot on low heat, dump the ground turkey (try to break it up as much as possible), pour the uncooked rice on top of that, and cover with chicken broth (I use bouillion and water). Cook for 6 - 8 hours or until rice or oats are done. Stir every 90 mins or so to avoid scorching.
2. Turn off heat and sprinkle parmesan, spices, and canned veggies (drained!)
3. Mix well, let cool, and place in airtight containers.
*Warning: this looks pretty gross and doesn't smell so great - "vomit" is usually the word used to describe it. However, the dogs love it and that's what counts.
I split this into 2 containers; one will feed Misha for a week and the other will feed Doc for about 12 days. This recipe can also be frozen for up to 2 weeks. Doc gets about 1/2 cup of stew and a few tablespoons of either the Fromm's dry food or lowfat cottage cheese mixed in for breakfast and supper. Misha has a cup of stew and a cup of dry for both meals. Both the pups will chase their bowls around trying to eat every last bit! Plus, there's no stopping at a special pet store to get food!
Now, Doc is really food-motivated, like his parents, and Misha can pretty much eat a house. When we adopted Doc, we bought food from the shelter - Fromm's. After all those pet deaths due to food manufactured in China, I'm pretty skittish of the typical major labels, like Purina or Pedigree. I prefer organic or holistic food made on this side of the pond, like Fromm's, which Doc likes and is easy on his tummy. But even with the shelter discount, it's still a nice chunk of change.
In this financial quandary, I thought about how much most pups love to eat "people food." Misha will walk away from her canned steak dinner if my brother's eating an actual steak. She knows the canned stuff is crap. Plus, making an extra trip to Petsmart & lugging it all home is a hassle - especially when you suddenly remember you're out! Why don't I just make some?
Doggy Stew
2lbs lean ground turkey
2 1/2 cups uncooked brown rice OR 2 cups steel-cut oats
1 can peas & carrots
1 can peas
1 can green beans
1/2 cup parmesan (the powdery kind you keep in the fridge, like Kraft)
2 tsps garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1 tbs Italian seasoning (mix of oregano, basil, rosemary, thyme)
Chicken broth, just enough to cover the grains (I used broth I'd frozen into cubes and water)
2. Turn off heat and sprinkle parmesan, spices, and canned veggies (drained!)
3. Mix well, let cool, and place in airtight containers.
*Warning: this looks pretty gross and doesn't smell so great - "vomit" is usually the word used to describe it. However, the dogs love it and that's what counts.
I split this into 2 containers; one will feed Misha for a week and the other will feed Doc for about 12 days. This recipe can also be frozen for up to 2 weeks. Doc gets about 1/2 cup of stew and a few tablespoons of either the Fromm's dry food or lowfat cottage cheese mixed in for breakfast and supper. Misha has a cup of stew and a cup of dry for both meals. Both the pups will chase their bowls around trying to eat every last bit! Plus, there's no stopping at a special pet store to get food!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Baby Shits & Grammy Toes: Anti-Foodie Recipes for the Big Game
I'm sure Carmelized Onion Pork Sliders on Challah and Tipsy Popcorn are tasty, but the "average joe' in all of us is probably just looking for something quick, yummy, and familiar when it comes to Superbowl (or Stanley Cup or World Series) noshing. Here are a few recipes that would make Paula Deen proud.
Note ~ I'm not a food photographer so don't be surprised by the quality of the pics I took with my cell phone :)
6. Drop dogs in boiling water; don't overcrowd. When they float, remove to a dinner plate (so the excess water drains) with a slotted spoon. If a few unroll, as you can see here, just redo them with a new strip of dough.
Remember to take them off the pan pretty soon after baking or they will stick! I shake them around just when they come out of the oven. You can serve them immediately with a little mustard and ketchup or place them in an airtight container to zap in the microwave later (30 seconds on high for 12 dogs, add 5 seconds for every 5 dogs after that)
Note ~ I'm not a food photographer so don't be surprised by the quality of the pics I took with my cell phone :)
Grammy Toes
My Gramma used to joke that her toes looked like cocktail weiners at the end of the day, so this my tribute to her sense of humor. Essentially, it's your good ol' bagel dog, but instead of spending $8 on a package of so-so 24 Vienna Bagel Dogs at the supermarket, you can spend less than that on 64 cocktail franks wrapped inside of pillow of homemade bagel dough.
I used 2 packages of Hebrew National cocktail franks, but any mini-dog or Li'l Smokie will do. You can knead the dough by hand, but I found a food processor or stand mixer with a bread blade to be much faster. The neat thing about this dough is that you can just make 12 bagels shaped by hand or use a biscuit cutter to make little bagel pockets for different fillings, like mini Beef Wellingtons or Cheesy Chicken Bacon bites. You can also add more sugar and cinnamon to make dessert pockets, like mini apple pies.
Bagel Dough
1 tsp active dry yeast
1 1/4 cups warm skim or 2% milk (instant thermometer should read between 105 - 115 degrees)
2 tbs sugar
1/4 cup softened butter (half a stick)
2 tsp salt
1 egg yolk
3 3/4 cups AP flour
1. Warm the milk in the microwave, add yeast and sugar, mix well and let sit for 2 mins; should start to bubble slightly.
2. Add softened butter and egg yolk to mixing bowl
3. Pour yeast mixture in mixing bowl
4. Add flour and salt
5. Turn on mixer to combine well. You want the dough to form a ball. After the dough (it will be stickier than your typical bread dough) pulls away from the wall of the bowl and clings to the mixing blade, let it go for another 60 seconds or so. The surface of the dough should start to look somewhat shiny.
6. Put dough into a lightly floured freezer bag and seal, careful to leave enough room for the rise. Let rise in warm place for about an hour until its doubled in size.
7. Dump sticky dough onto a lightly floured work surface; punch down and let rest for 5-10 minutes.
Prep the dog and cook
1. Bring large pot of water to boil
2. Roll dough out to 1/4 inch thickness. Using a pizza cutter, cut strips approximately an inch wide and 1.5 inches long. You should end up with enough for about 64 bagel dogs.
3. Dump both packages of cocktail franks onto a couple of paper towels; pat dry. If you leave them wet, the dough won't adhere as well.
4. Start wrapping! Twist the small sections of dough around each dog, being careful to seal the seams. You should have a little bit of the dog peaking out from both ends.
5. Preheat oven to 380 degrees; make sure racks are placed in the upper half of the oven.
6. Drop dogs in boiling water; don't overcrowd. When they float, remove to a dinner plate (so the excess water drains) with a slotted spoon. If a few unroll, as you can see here, just redo them with a new strip of dough.7. Quickly place bagel dogs on a greased cookie sheet (I used Pam Cooking Spray) about an inch or 2 apart. The dough will puff up, so you need room. *Remember, you're moving items that have just been in boiling water! If you don't have "abestos hands" like I do after so many years of burning them in the kitchen, use tongs!
8. Bake 20-25 minutes until you see a light browning. They will not turn the typical darker color of bagels unless your broil them (which I think is a waste of time) or put an egg wash on them.
Remember to take them off the pan pretty soon after baking or they will stick! I shake them around just when they come out of the oven. You can serve them immediately with a little mustard and ketchup or place them in an airtight container to zap in the microwave later (30 seconds on high for 12 dogs, add 5 seconds for every 5 dogs after that)In the end, you should have delicious little franks covered in a crunchy, chewy bagel without the shortening flavor you get when you use a canned dough like Pillsbury.
*Tip: You'll likely end up with a few strips that don't have a matching dog. Make bagel strips! Boil them before you put the bagel dogs in (so they don't taste like hot dog water) and bake as instructed. I snacked on mine with a little butter & jelly smoosh. My Mom likes to sprinkle sea salt on them before baking; you can also sprinkle sesame seeds, poppy seeds, garlic powder, shredded cheddar or asiago before baking. Endless possibilities.
*Tip: You'll likely end up with a few strips that don't have a matching dog. Make bagel strips! Boil them before you put the bagel dogs in (so they don't taste like hot dog water) and bake as instructed. I snacked on mine with a little butter & jelly smoosh. My Mom likes to sprinkle sea salt on them before baking; you can also sprinkle sesame seeds, poppy seeds, garlic powder, shredded cheddar or asiago before baking. Endless possibilities.
Baby Shits
This recipe is so-named because the end result resembles a toddler's diaper, or at least I've been told. A woman I used to work with made these for our potlucks and they were always quick to go - spicy, cheesy, meaty yumminess. I'm not a big fan of Velveeta, but this is one recipe that isn't the same without it.
2 packages of mini (or entertaining slices) rye bread
12 oz Velveeta, cut into cubes
16 oz (1 package) Jimmy Dean's hot pork sausage
1 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp onion powder
*cayenne or red pepper flakes if you want it to be firey hot
1. Brown sausage, drain
2. In a 2-qt cassarole dish, combine cooked sausage, Velveeta cubes, and spices. Zap in microwave until cheese is melted and mixture is thoroughly combined. About 3 minutes on high, stirring every 30 seconds.
3. Preheat broiler on 400 degrees or high setting.
4. Arrange rye slices on sheet pan(s).
5. Slather (yes, slather) sausage mixture onto each bread slice.
6. Broil about 4 inches from the top of oven for approximately 5 minutes. You want the sausage mixture to brown and start to carmelize; the edges of the bread should be toasted.
7. Serve (however, they're still tasty at room temp)
Are these healthful recipes? Nope. But that's what crudite is for ;-)
I'll be adding pictures in the future.
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